(selected from this website: http://www.innocentenglish.com/best-funny-jokes/clean-funny-jokes/christmas-jokes-for-kids-kids-safe-christmas-jokes.html)
Q. What do you get if you cross Santa with a
detective?
A. Santa
Clues!
Q. What did Adam say on the day before
Christmas?
A. Its
Christmas, Eve.
Q. Why does Santa Claus like to work in the
garden?
A. Because
he likes to hoe, hoe, hoe!
Q. What happened when the snowwoman got angry at
the snowman?
A. She
gave him the cold shoulder.
Q. How do sheep say Merry Christmas in Mexico?
A. Fleece
Navidad!
Q. What do you get when you cross a snowman with
a shark?
A. Frost
bite!
Q. What do you call a cat on the beach at
Christmastime?
A. Sandy
Claws!
Q. Why are Christmas trees such bad knitters?
A. They
are always dropping their needles.
Q. What do you when if you cross an apple with a Christmas tree?
A. A
pineapple.
Q. Why wasn’t the turkey hungry at Christmas
time?
A. He
was stuffed!
Q. Why does Santa Claus go down the chimney on
Christmas Eve?
A. Because
it soots him.
Q. What kind of ball doesn’t bounce?
A. A
snowball!
Q. What’s the best thing to put into Christmas
pie?
A. Your
teeth!
Q. If athletes get athletes foot, what do
astronauts get?
A. Missletoe!
Q. What do you call people who are afraid of
Santa Claus?
A. Claustrophobic.
Q. What’s white and goes up?
A. A
confused snowflake!
Q. What do you call an old snowman?
A. Water!
Q. What goes ho-ho whoosh, ho-ho whoosh?
A. Santa
caught in a revolving door!
Q. What goes “oh, oh, oh”?
A. Santa
walking backwards!
Q. When does Christmas come before Thanksgiving?
A. In
the dictionary!
Q. What do you have in December that’s not in
any other month?
A. The
letter D!
Q. Why is it always cold at Christmas?
A. Because
it’s in Decemberrrr!
Q. What did one snowman say to the other
snowman?
A. Can
you smell carrot?
Q. How many presents can Santa fit in an empty
sack?
A. Only
one, after that it’s not empty anymore!
Q. How does Good King Wenceslas like his pizzas?
A. Deep
and crisp and even!
Q. What do you get if Santa goes down the
chimney when the fire is lit?
A. Crisp
Cringle!
Q. What kind of candle burns longer, a red
candle or a green candle?
A. Neither,
candles always burn shorter!
Q. What often falls at the North Pole but never
gets hurt?
A. Snow!
Q. What Christmas carol is a favorite of
parents?
A. Silent
Night!